L's V-day

L1: Hey what plans for today bro?

L2: The usual maan...nothing

L3: C'mon guys what's wrong with you folks...

L1&L2: Oooooo, looks like someone's got plans!

L3: Tch, tch...u guys just don't undestand!

L1: What?

L3: I did some research...this Valentine guy was no dude, he was a saint...Saint Valentine. Stop thinking about gals. We should light candles in front of this great man's pic and meditate on love...universal love, platonic love, love for the entire mankind...we need to transform our basic instincts to something much higher

L2: WOW man...that's profound

L1: Oh great guru, tell us more about it...

L3: Saint Valentine was a martyr.....Crap man, what am i saying...when is the party???

The "L" incident

It was probably the fault of one loser that another loser got into a bit of a mess. The inappropriately high levels of waste fluids building up in his body demanded a quick exit and Loser, succumbing to the "pressure" did not take much notice of the sign-board outside the toilet. The loser guy who put up the sign was to be blamed for this. The sign read "L" and supposedly stood for "Ladies" (which was written in such small letters that even if a person was looking for it he may not have found it) while the other door had "G" for "Gents". In his haste to release his waste, loser interpreted "L" for "Loser" instead of "Ladies" and was pleasantly surprised at this special treatment being meted out to losers...a toilet specially catering to their untimely needs.

Anyways, when loser entered the loo (and L could have stood for Loo as well), he was stopped on his tracks by an elderly lady.

Lady: hey you, where do u think u are going?

Loser: am not going anywhere, I have reached

Lady: don't u dare try to be cheeky with me!

Loser: listen old lady, i don't know what u mean but i didn't come here to be cheeky...it's far more urgent

Lady: what the hell do u think u are doing in HERE?

Loser: now c'mon, i ain't doing nothing yet but if u keep questioning me like this then i might

Lady: who let u in here?

Loser: my need....and now old lady i think ur being cheeky...ur talking about "letting in" whereas u know very well that i have come here to "let out"

Lady: i urge u to leave this very second!

Loser: don't tell me about urges lady...u don't understand the ferocity or maybe velocity of my current urge!

Lady:hey!!...u!!!...wait!!...

Without waiting for any further debate, Loser charged inside one of the toilets whose door was being opened by the lady who was about to step out...but our Loser friend got in so bloody quick that the woman trying to step out was still inside when Loser stepped in and locked the door from inside. He opened the door after exactly a micro-second and one slap later as the lady walked out hurling abuses at him.

When Loser finally emerged from the loo, he was a much relieved man.

Racing against time

There is only one competitor that Time itself fears and that's a Loser. It would seem that time is in this amazingly irritating habit of competing with people....or maybe people start the race against time but either ways 99% of the time, Time wins. However, with a loser time doesn't ever stand a chance. Henry Ford had once said, “The competitor to be feared is one who never bothers about you at all, but goes on making his own business better all the time.” Ford was right (the first part of the quote makes absolute sense, the second part about betterment is a bit immature though...he should have put a fullstop and stopped where he put a comma and continued) and this is precisely why Time fears the loser. A loser does not bother about time at all...he has all the time in the world. Most losers don't even care to wear watches unless they have taken a liking to some cheap roadside ticking object which says loudly "buy me u loser" and the loser falls for it. But as a general rule they don't wear watches. Time gets frustrated with them, waiting for the loser to get into competition mode but the loser is blissfully unaware of any such crap. As such Time is at a loss, it keeps ticking and in doing so loses time/itself. At this point in time, the race is over...time has lost but thankfully the loser hasn't won (winning would be a disgrace)...so u might be thinking if the loser didn't win then what did it do....well....ur missing the point....throughout this race the loser actually did nothing. Time started a race and time lost, period.